“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery” (Mk 10:11-12).
“Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations” (Deut. 7:9). Faithfulness is so deeply rooted in God’s nature that it is simply impossible to think of Him in any category other than that of fidelity. It is thanks to this attribute of fidelity that we can count on God: “The Rock, his work is perfect; for all his ways are justice. A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and right is he” (Deut. 32:4). God does not made idle promises. He does not make covenants that He does not keep. Therefore He is reliable as a rock, and His works are perfect. The Psalmist expresses his conviction: “The LORD is faithful in all his words” (Ps. 145:13), and the prophet Nehemiah affirms, “And thou hast fulfilled thy promise, for thou art righteous” (Neh. 9:8).
It is precisely with such a God that the couple make their covenant, in conferring upon each other the sacrament of matrimony. It is not the priest who “weds” them. It is not the clerk who “registers” their will to be together. It is they themselves who make their covenant with God by which they become “one flesh” that no one may put asunder (Matt. 19:6).
God is not merely a “witness” to the event. He is the one who has the power to join or not to join them as one. When the couple confer the sacrament upon each other, God effects an invisible transformation that joins them as one. Being a faithful God, He will not back away from a covenant that He has concluded. As it was in the beginning of creation so will it be to the end of the world.
Alas, man is increasingly disregarding the covenant he has concluded with his faithful God; he breaks it by betraying his spouse and seeking a new, sinful union. For God, the matter is clear: “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery” (Mk 10:11-12). For Satan, marital infidelity is the easiest way of drawing souls into a state of permanent sin. By forming new unions people remove themselves from the possibility of remaining in a state of sanctifying grace and receiving the Eucharist. Satan has only to convince them that the extinction of their love and affection for their spouse is sufficient cause for betrayal.
But sin is sin, and the only way of returning to God is to reject the sin and admit the fault. “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, [God] is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 Jn 1:8-9). Our faithful and just God wants to forgive us and wipe away our sin, since sin leads to everlasting death, and God wants us all to enjoy eternal life.
Those who remain faithful despite the infidelity of their spouse have an incredible advantage over Satan. God, who is faithful and just, stands on their side. God is the conqueror: the Judge who damned Satan and scored the final victory over sin. For God marriage remains valid despite its betrayal. A sacramental couple remain one flesh. Those who remain faithful despite the infidelity of their spouse, who forgive and pray for the other, enjoy God’s blessing, since they choose the more difficult path: that which that leads to eternal life. Moreover, they stand before God as an advocate for the unfaithful spouse; since in God’s eyes the two still walk a common path to holiness. God cannot act in the life of a person who does not ask Him to act. But He can act in the life of a husband at the request of the wife just as He can in the life of the wife at the request of the husband. This is in full accord with the nature of God who respects man’s freedom and remains faithful to Himself and the covenant He concluded.
I know it is not easy to forgive betrayal. I also know it is not easy to pray for someone who has hurt one so badly. But knowing God, in whom I place my trust, I can say that even though it is hard, it is possible. Saint Paul assures me: “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Cor. 10:13). God in His fidelity will not allow a temptation to exceed my strength to resist it. That is why Jesus urges us to persevere in our faithfulness to our marriage vows, to forgive, to pray, and to hope that our “spirit and soul and body [may] be kept sound and blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls [us] is faithful, and he will do it” (1 Thess. 5:23-24). Those who need help and support in remaining faithful to their marriage vows are encouraged to join the Movement of Faithful Hearts (MFH).
Mirosław Rucki
I have been married for eighteen years. For the last seven of these years I have been alone. My husband met another much younger woman, fell in love with her, and left me alone with our two children. I still love my husband and pray for him all the time, but by joining the Movement of Faithful Hearts (MFW) I know that I am not alone in my prayers. My husband’s leaving became the moment of my conversion. When everything I had so nicely built up came crashing down over my head, I discovered Jesus. He did not leave me alone with my problems. He put wonderful people in my path: a community to which I still belong. Now I cannot imagine life without God and my community. I also know that I cannot—nor would I want to—“build another life” for myself as my old friends keep telling me to do. I pray patiently for my husband’s conversion and for the strength to persevere in this state of love, purity, and faithfulness.
S.M.
I want to join the Movement of Faithful Hearts. I want to save our marriage as well my husband’s dignity and my own. After forty years of marriage, my husband (though he has not betrayed me physically) has eyes only for his young female assistant. His thoughts and feelings revolve around her alone. As for me, he has pushed me completely aside. I have met all the conditions of joining MFH and hereby declare my intention to be faithful to the principles of the movement.
A.M.
My husband and I were married in the Church twenty-one years ago. For last four years he has been involved in a romance with another woman. They met on the Internet. I do not wish go into the details of this nightmare. My husband and I have known each other since we were twelve years old. We have two children. A priest I know describes this romance as a kind of spiritual bondage. I pray for my husband and the woman. She is a widow, and this is not the first marriage she has broken up. I have been involved in Renewal of the Holy Spirit meetings. Now I have decided to join MFH. I am familiar with its principles. Please pray for me.
S.E
For eight years I have been alone and chaste, waiting for the healing of our marriage and my husband to come home. I pray for him constantly. He left me and our two children after twenty-one years of marriage. He is living with another woman. They are both high school teachers. They had a civil wedding and have no children. I implore your prayers.
K.B.
Nine years ago my husband left me for a married woman and her child. I felt unloved, disregarded, and rejected. It hurt terribly. On his birthday I sent him a copy of Jan Twardowski’s love poems entitled Love Seeks Love. Between the pages I slipped in our wedding photo, and on the back of it I had written the text of our wedding vows and my signature. I could never have done this on my own The good Lord made it possible. I then turned to the Scriptures and read the Canticle of Love. I read and wept. Throughout that very difficult time God remained very close to me. I felt as if He were carrying me in His arms. I was already familiar with Love One Another Magazine. Since then I have been reading it regularly. My husband asked me for a divorce. I refused. In the end, the court adjudicated a divorce. I have decided to remain faithful to our marriage. If my husband should return, I will take him back. The last time we saw each other was February 20005—in court. I learned then that he had had a daughter in the new relationship. Every day I pray for our marriage. I am learning to trust in God and, with His help, to discover the truth about myself. I want to change and become a freer person.
Joanna
To join the Movement of Faithful Hearts, you must decide to remain faithful to your sacramental marriage, remain in a state of sanctifying grace, say the Prayer of Consecration below, and pray daily for the restoration and rebuilding of your marriage.
Members of MFH agree to:
• live in a state of sanctifying grace, while fostering a personal relationship with Jesus Christ
• receive Holy Communion frequently and read the Scriptures on a regular basis
• entrust themselves, their spouse, and their loved ones to God in the recital of the rosary and the chaplet of Divine Mercy (daily, if possible).
We ask you to inform us by telephone, post, or e-mail of your decision. We will then send you a special blessing and register your name in our Book of Faithful Hearts, so that we can pray for you and your marriage.
Prayer of Consecration to Jesus and the Mother of God
Lord Jesus, I offer you our marriage. I thank you for uniting us, for giving us to one another, and for strengthening our union in the sacrament of matrimony. However, our marriage now stands in need of healing. I offer you, Lord, my whole self, my memory, my soul, and my body. Please teach me to love my husband (wife) and children with the love that comes from you. Grant both of us, dear Jesus, a pure heart modeled on yours. Enable me to remain faithful in my difficult situation. Grant me the grace to forgive my husband (wife) for all the wounds and harm he (she) has dealt me, that I may not lose hope in the possibility of reconciliation (in the case of separation or divorce). Cleanse my thoughts that I may remain faithful and loving. May daily prayer (the rosary, the chaplet of Divine Mercy, Holy Mass, and frequent reception of Holy Communion) help me in this endeavor. I promise to pick myself up from every serious sin through the sacrament of penance. Grant that I may always be strengthened by the graces of the sacrament of matrimony. Lord Jesus, be the One Lord of my life. Teach me to control my emotions and sexual desires, that my love for my husband (wife) may endure and be faithful until death do us part. Purify my love of all selfishness, that I may always forgive, nurse no grudges, and persevere in prayer. To preserve a pure heart, I promise never to read, purchase, or look at pornographic magazines, TV programs, or films. Grant me your help, O Lord, that I may avoid everything that enslaves and incites me to evil. Mary, my Mother, lead me in the ways of faith toward the one source of love in our marriage—to Jesus, that I may always trust and believe in Him. Amen.
Members are also encouraged to read the materials on the Movement of Faithful Hearts found in past issues of LOA.
Editors