Five Stones

In primary and junior high school, I got into the sin of impurity and marijuana. At first, I did not regard masturbation as a sin. I thought I wasn’t harming anybody, so there was no reason to confess it. In my youth I served as an altar boy, but I quickly left God. I gave up prayer, I stopped going to church and practicing my faith. Pornography, masturbation, sex, marijuana – that was now my life …

While in college, I slowly began to realize that love is the most important thing in life. I was missing it, I felt unhappy and lonely. The thought that I perhaps should try to go back to living a life of chastity, slowly came to me. However, I did not associate these thoughts and desires with God. 

One June day I woke up in the morning feeling in my heart the weight of all the sins that I had committed during my life. It was hard to get out of bed. My soul was overwhelmed by the baggage of all the evil in which I lived at the time. I began to feel remorse and regret. Crying, I began to apologize to my loved ones, for all the wrongdoings done to them. However, it did not bring me relief. Then I realized that there was Someone to whom I had not apologized – God.

I Confessed My Sins

After years of not going to church and sacrilegious reception of the sacraments, I finally went to confession. For the first time in my life I confessed my sins of impurity. After confession, the burden of guilt disappeared completely. During Mass the priest read the parable of the lost sheep: The shepherd takes one sheep on his shoulders and brings her to the fold. The joy in heaven from one sinner who converts is greater than knowing there are 99 others who are righteous. It was a parable about me. That day was the feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

It was then that my conversion process began. I returned to God, to the church, to the sacraments and to prayer. My late grandmother, Maria, always prayed for me. I think that it was thanks to her that I converted. From then on, I began to learn about the Catholic faith and the Bible. I also started the battle for purity. Unfortunately, my chastity lasted only a few months. The demon returned to the pure home of my heart, along with seven worse ones. Addiction to pornography, masturbation, one relationship, then another – both tainted with sexual sins. Prostitutes, another relationship, more sins of impurity. Despite my efforts, prayers, fasts, confession and adoration, I could not get out of it. In the meantime, serious diseases came upon me. My life, plans and dreams collapsed. I listened to Jesus a lot at that time, however, I did not obey Him. My house was built on sand and it had collapsed. 

The Pompeii Rosary Novena

Soon afterwards, I learned about the Pompeii Rosary Novena, which consists of praying three parts of the Rosary every day for 54 days. I prayed the Novena for health and chastity – but with no special results. After a while, when my life problems overwhelmed me again, I returned to this prayer. The first Novena was to discern the vocation, the second was to obey God’s will. Slowly, little miracles began to happen, and my faith grew. 

I am currently in the middle of praying the third Novena. This time I am praying for purity of my heart. In addition to saying the Novena, I have also begun to attend Mass every day, rather than just on Sundays, and to read the Holy Bible. I have also limited my use of the internet. I realized that the biggest source of problems in my life, the suffering and misfortunes, are not diseases. They are sins, especially my sexual addictions. I also came to the conclusion that until I overcome them, it is impossible to build a house on a rock, to build happiness, temporal and eternal. 

Pilgrimage to Medjugorje 

One day I met with my neighbor. She had the same name as the blessed Karolina Kozka – the patron saint of the Movement of Pure Hearts (MPH). She told me that she had gone to Medjugorje recently and suggested that I should also go. I said that I had long dreamed of it, but currently I didn’t have the money. The neighbor told me that what counted the most was the willingness to go. The next day, on a social media site, I found that the Movement of Pure Hearts was organizing a pilgrimage to Medjugorje. Writing on that site, I simply commented: “it would be nice to go, but I would probably need a sponsor.” The next day, a stranger, also named Karolina (!), from the other end of Poland sent me a message. She wrote that if I have no money, she would lend it to me or even give it, as long as I go on this pilgrimage! Initially, I refused because for me it was an embarrassment to accept such an offer, but I finally agreed. I asked the organizers if there was still space available. It turned out that there was – the last one! And indeed, this unknown Karolina sent me money for the trip, with my family contributing a little more. And so I went!

These were the most beautiful moments of my life. Our Lady of Medjugorje called me to renew my devotion to Her and to pray for purity of heart, together with the MPH, by putting two Karolinas on my life path, or rather three I think – including Blessed Karolina Kozka – the patron saint of chastity. The spiritual battle for good had now really began. 

The Mother of God gave me the resources, the five stones with which David defeated Goliath and with which I can now face the evil in my life. Here they are:

1. The first stone
is the EUCHARIST. 

Daily Mass if possible. 

2. The second stone

At least once a month. 

3. The third stone

Read and reflect on at least a short passage daily. 

4. The fourth stone

If possible, on bread and water on Wednesdays and Fridays. The sick can do prayer instead of fasting. 

5. The fifth stone

Praying the rosary daily, at least three parts.

I left Medjugorje with the decision that I will use all five stones. I trust that I will be able to win the battle for chastity and a happy life in accordance with God’s will. 

Jakub, 29