I am writing this piece to hearten those who wish to be parents and are having problems. I experienced this myself and can testify that with God all things are possible. Seek help and place your hope in Him alone.
I married in 1986 at the age of twenty-four. My husband (my first love) was a good deal older than I. We very much wanted to have children. I sought treatment, underwent numerous tests, and was often in hospital under excellent medical care. My tubes were cleared. Then my husband underwent a fertility test and it came to light that his sperm count was very low. The doctor threw up his hands. There was nothing more he could do. But I did not lose hope, for I had remained close to the Church.
I prayed a great deal. I said the rosary regularly and meditated on God’s word: “With God nothing is impossible,” “Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened to you” (cf. Mt 7: 7); “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you will, and it shall be done for you” (Jn 15: 7); “Whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours” (Mk 11: 24). I never stopped meditating on Luke’s account of Elizabeth’s maternity. I did not lose hope, but entrusted everything to God’s will.
After four years of marriage, I began to have fleeting thoughts of betraying my husband and becoming pregnant by other men. But I quickly realized this was sheer selfishness on my part. The important thing was to carry out God’s will—difficult as it might be. I began to resign myself to childlessness, and yet deep down there was always that spark of hope that God would eventually answer my prayers.
And so it happened! After five years, I finally conceived our child. I was overjoyed. But then I soon began to feel unwell. My gynecologist went on an extended vacation, and I was referred to another physician. Although I was two fingers dilated, the doctor sent me home rather than keep me in hospital. And so, on August 22, 1991, I delivered a stillborn son weighing 400 grams. That was a catastrophic blow to me. I felt abandoned by God. But even though I could not feel His presence, I kept praying at all cost. I prayed the Joyful Mysteries of the rosary. My husband and I requested a Holy Mass for the gift of parenthood.
It was a long time before I felt that God was present to me again. On July 18, 1992, I gave birth to our son Martin. We christened him on August 22, 1993, the second anniversary of our unhappy experience. In 1995, I gave birth to our daughter Joanna. My joy knew no bounds.
After a while, my husband and I wanted to have yet another child. I entrusted our wish and fertility to the Lord in prayer. Given our ages, reason told me this was impossible. What’s more, I had had great difficulty in carrying our second child, so that another pregnancy was all the more inadvisable. Once more I entrusted myself to God, believing that He would guide us in the best possible way. Before long it became apparent that I was expecting again. This last pregnancy I carried with relative ease, despite my heavy domestic duties (my children were four and six years old). On October 8, 1999, I gave birth to a healthy daughter, Dorothy. She weighed four kilograms and measured sixty-two centimeters. I thank God for the miracle of our children.
I write this for all those who are experiencing difficulties in conceiving a child. Remaining in a state of sanctifying grace and praying constantly—these are the means by which—believe it!—to beg this gift from God through the intercession of our Blessed Mother. Please share this witness with others who are having such problems. God will honor His promise and fulfill the words, “With God nothing is impossible.”
Anna
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