“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Cor 10: 13).
We have grown so used to abnormalities that we have stopped observing God’s Unchanging Will concerning our marriages. This will has been unequivocal since the very dawn of creation. On the first day of man’s existence God established marriage as an indissoluble union between a man and a woman. To date God has not changed His view on this matter—and it does look as though He ever intends to change it. Nor has the Church changed her view, for she still teaches that, “a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death” (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2382). “Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the gravity of the rupture: the remarried spouse is then in a situation of public and permanent adultery” (CCC 2384).
Commenting on the subject of non-sacramental unions entered into by divorced persons, St. Basil explained Christ’s words recorded in St. Luke’s Gospel (16: 18): “If a husband, separated from his wife, approaches another woman, he is an adulterer because he makes that woman commit adultery, and the woman who lives with him is an adulteress, because she has drawn another’s husband to herself” (footnote to CCC 2384).
Let us have the courage to call things by their name: a non-sacramental union of baptized persons constitutes a union of adulterers that is often sanctioned by godless civil law. And if we genuinely care for the good of these persons who have decided on public and permanent adultery, we ought to proclaim in our pastoral ministry the truth about the sin of adultery in a clear and unequivocal way. This will make it easier for both pastors and the faithful to understand that the first and fundamental concern of pastoral ministry is for the sacramental marriage, even a broken one, and only then for the persons who consciously and freely decide to remain in sin. It will also make it easier for those who are faced with the temptation: I have been betrayed, so should I remain faithful despite the betrayal, or should I plunge headlong into the sin of permanent adultery? A sin called by its name is much less attractive and does not create the illusion of solving the problem of loneliness. I realize that the temptation to form a new union is great. Man craves love, understanding, and solace and deludes himself that a new union will satisfy this desire. But I believe in the faithfulness of God who promised us that He would not allow us to be tempted beyond our strength. God points a way out of temptation and shows us the path of persevering in holiness. All we have to do is follow God’s voice and acknowledge that He knows better what is good for us.
If you wish to persevere in your decision to remain faithful to your sacramental marriage despite the betrayal, divorce, and infidelity of your spouse, join the Movement of Tough Married Couples SYCHAR. You need not remain alone with your problem. Jesus is always ready to help you, and people who persevere together in a community and support each other, help each other. You can also avail yourself of spiritual and psychological help, read the personal testimonies on our website (www.sychar.org), and participate in spiritual retreats.
Mirosław Rucki
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