Advice from St. John Paul II for Married Couples

The only source of marital love is Jesus Christ, perpetually present in the sacrament of matrimony.

We call to mind the words that St. John Paul II directed towards families: “This sacrament (of matrimony) is so great! And spouses can be certain that along with the sacrament, they receive strength flowing from God, as well as the grace that will accompany them throughout their lives; faith gives them this assurance. Neither should they cease to draw from this source, which flows from themselves.”

The sacrament of matrimony carries within itself a grace that solidifies our human lives in God and directs them permanently towards Him. The path to your salvation, which takes you through the building of your marital and family community, is based on a spiritual and supernatural foundation. Draw on this sacramental grace continuously in prayer and in your conduct. Draw on it particularly when you encounter difficulties and ordeals on your path. Christ desires to be with you always! May your love never cease to be rooted in His love. Then this love will never end. It will not fail you.

Marital Crises will not be overcome without Returning to Christ

We know that the original evil which lurks in the soul of each person manifests itself particularly easily through the violation of the moral order of marriage and the family. In those areas where so much depends on love, on true love in particular, man succumbs to selfishness and makes others, their dearest ones, the victims of this selfishness. This crisis did not bypass the family; it did not unfortunately bypass the Polish family! It causes so much contempt for God and is the root cause of many misfortunes and evil … However, behind the numbers, analysis, and descriptions there is always a living person, the tragedies found in his or her heart and life, the tragedies that can spoil his or her vocation. There are divorces, a high number of divorces. There are families that suffer from constant arguments and conflicts as well as lengthy separations, which occur as a result of one spouse travelling abroad. Additionally, the families are concerning themselves more and more exclusively just with their own affairs, becoming incapable of opening towards others, or other issues, or other families. What is more, sometimes the deeper bond within the family itself is lacking. Sometimes deeper love is lacking, even between parents and children or among siblings. And many families get sick and some of their members suffer from alcohol abuse.

Without returning to Christ, to the sacrament of marriage, no disturbed family bond will be restored, no wounds arising from human weakness and sin will be healed.

And I am calling on you, brothers and sisters, to kindle God’s charism of spouses and parents again, which is in you through the sacrament of marriage. Only on the basis of the grace of this sacrament is it possible to fully forgive, reconcile and take up a common path again. Through this, human love and identity, as well as the truthfulness of human vows are all renewed and revived.

Life teaches us that love, and we are thinking here of conjugal love, is always a special test of all life.

Conjugal love is not great and real when it seems easy and pleasant. Rather it is great when it is confirmed in the tests of life, just like ‘gold being tested through fire.’ Anyone who thought that when the time of trial comes, love and joy would end, would have a very poor idea of ​​human and marital love. It is exactly at this time of trial that human feelings show their permanence; it is then that devotion and tenderness are strengthened, because true love does not think about itself, but about how to contribute to the good of a loved one; its greatest joy is seeing the happiness of those it loves.

It is a serious mistake to think that man realizes himself more fully by constantly starting from scratch, changing his partner whenever he desires. Rather he realizes himself more fully when, even in the midst of difficulties, he remains faithful to the ‘yes’ that was once said. A man who withdraws the ‘yes’ that he once said, renounces his promised faithfulness, takes back the love he once gave, and breaks away from the foundation on which his own life rests. He does not have a homeland anymore, and he is sinking into the abyss of sin, which may seem appealing at first, but inevitably it leads to ontological alienation, self-destruction, and the loss of his own identity. Faithfulness to my own beginning, means faithfulness to the partner whom I married in front of God in the church; this demands faithfulness to myself, because I said ‘yes’ myself, faithfulness independent of the evolution and degree of self-fulfillment, faithfulness to another person, just as he or she is, regardless of his or her development. Such faithfulness is not only the basic structure of marriage and the family, but also of human existence itself. It is a guarantee of trust and order, without which mankind would collapse. 

Unfortunately, there are many people in the modern world who promote a poor substitute for faithfulness, and claim the right to offer it to marriages and families, asserting that it will bring them easy happiness. I am asking you not to let yourselves be deceived … When faced with the difficulties that married life can pose, do not be fooled by easy solutions, such as divorce or separation, because they are only superficial solutions. Christians know that marriage, a relationship that is inseparable by nature, was sanctified by Christ, who caused it to share in the indestructible and faithful love between Him and His church. (Ephesians 5:32) In a special way, Christian families will find the strength and grace necessary to overcome the obstacles that threaten their unity by participating in the sacrament of reconciliation and receiving the Body of Christ. Let them not forget that true love is tempered in suffering.”

Movement of Pure Hearts in Marriage 

Dear Spouses! Always remember that in the sacrament of marriage, Christ united you with inseparable bonds of unity. The Lord Jesus says that there is no divorce, because after marriage the spouses “are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Matthew 19:6) Every thought and suggestion of divorce comes from Satan. Only with Christ, with Mary, and with Saint Joseph, will you overcome all difficulties! If you pray together, recite the Rosary and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, forgive each other, eliminate resentment from your heart, and go to confession and participate in the Eucharist regularly, you will draw mutual love from the only source of love – Jesus Christ. In this way you will be completely protected against Satan’s support for divorce. The Lord Jesus invites you to the Movement of Pure Hearts in Marriage, because he wants to teach you how to love and forgive each other as well as to renew and heal your marital relationship.

In order to join the MPHM, you must first go to confession and, after receiving the Lord Jesus Christ in Communion, pray the Prayer of Entrustment of the MPHM. Pray it every day and incorporate all the requirements contained in it into your marital life. You must also arrange your everyday activities so that prayer will always occupy first place among your priorities. Take care that television and the internet do not become thieves of your time at the cost of prayer; take care of your children, and make time for appropriate rest. Ask God every day for the gift of a pure heart, so that you will always remain in a state of sanctifying grace, and if you find that you have fallen into mortal sin, go immediately to confession.

Please inform our editorial board of the great event that your entry into the MPHM was. We will write your names into the Book of Pure Hearts and send you a special blessing. “The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with all of you.” (2 Corinthians 13:13)

The editorial board

The MPHM Prayer of Entrustment

Lord Jesus, we thank you for loving us “to the end” – to the point of offering up your life for us. We thank you for your love that keeps us from evil, raises us up from our greatest sins and heals our most hurtful wounds. We thank you for your presence in the sacrament of matrimony. In you, we can always find the remedy for every evil and the strength to prevail over every hardship and crisis. We offer you our memories, our minds, our wills, our souls, our bodies and our sexuality. Lord Jesus, teach us to love each other and our children with that love which flows from Your Merciful Heart. Grant us a pure heart mod-elled on yours, that together we may perfect a love that is wise, generous, faithful and free from self-interest, a love that steadfastly upholds your laws and commandments.
We pledge to meet you every day in joint prayer and the reading of Holy Scripture, in the frequent reception of Holy Communion, and in adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. We resolve to make a regular sacramental confession and pick ourselves up promptly from every sin.
We resolve not to buy, read or look at pornographic materials in the form of magazines, television programmes or films. We renounce the use of contraceptives and the contraceptive mentality itself. We pledge always to be ready to accept and raise in your love every child you may wish to call into existence.

Lord Jesus, be master of our hearts. Teach us to control our sexual desires and feelings, that our love for each other and our children may not be subject to our moods and emotional states. Rather, may our love be a continual expression of our care and solicitude for each other. Grant us the gift of pure spousal love, that we may give of ourselves generously. Cleanse our love of all self-ishness, that we may always forgive and pray for each other without nursing grudges. Help us to avoid everything that ensnares and enslaves, including narcotics and other addictive substances.

Mary, our Mother, guide us on our journey of faith. Lead us to the very Source of Love – to Jesus, that we may trust and believe in Him alone. After the example of St John Paul II, we entrust ourselves to you: Totus Tuus, Mary! To your Immaculate Heart we confide ourselves totally, all that we are, every step that we take and every minute of our lives. Amen!